Fuck My Life

have you ever had one of those situations where you are like.. fuck my life ? well se all do so dont fell too bad, here are some examples :

· Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML

· Today, I went into work and noticed on of my fellow colleagues had received a large bunch of flowers and where sitting on her desk. As soon as I saw her I immediately said "Happy Birthday!". Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday, her father had died. FML

· Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

· Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

· Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

· Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I got a couple of responses on the sms line :

"May you please play me Attack by 30 Seconds To Mars for my F'd up life from Kaycee. " so during the TRT I phoned Kaycee and asked what made her morning fucked up, turns out "she" is a guy and I had called him sweetheart on the air. FML

Fantasy Rock Band

So tonight I ran a feature on a fantasy rock band, well because thats what us rock DJ's do, right after that I asked you guys for some comments or perhaps for you to give me your fantasy rock band. here is mine:

Fantasy Rock band
Vocalist: Corey Taylor (Slipknot)
Guitarist: Nuno Bettencourt (Extreme)
Drummer: Kate Schellenbach (Luscious Jackson; Beastie Boys)
Bassist: Flea (Red hot chillie peppers)
Rhythm Guitar: Stone Gossard (Pearl Jam)
Record label: Road Runner

Got a reponse from retief here his fantasy band is :

Retiefs Fantasy Rock band
vocals: Christina Scabbia(Lacuna Coil)
drums: Michael Bostaph(ex Slayer)
guitars: Bjorn Gellotte(In Flames) and Michael Amott(Arch Enemy)
Bassist is open for debate.

True to the blue

Its the weekend we have all been waiting for, if you are lucky like me then it starts before most of you even wake up but even if you do have work today it’s all good because its the Vodacom super 14 final between the ever amazing , always on top Blue Bulls vs. the less than inspiring chiefs so get your shirt, flag and horns and head down to your local sports bar if you weren’t lucky enough to get tickets and lets watch the Bulls wipe the floor with those sucker fools. If you haven’t got tickets but won’t settle for anything less than Loftus you can tune in to the breakfast and the Drive today where we will be giving away some of those sought after gems.

On my last show I started this new thing, it’s called YouTube beauts and what that is, is a selection of all of the coolest videos available on YouTube, you know just to save you some browsing time, Wednesday morning’s video of this guy names Kimbo slice who basically walks around and beats people up on the streets of America, and while I was posting the video I think I came across tonight’s winner and it is Kimbo Slice yet again, this time he pays some fool $100 to dress up in football gear and stand still so Kimbo can tackle him, I promise you it gives flying without wings a new definition.

I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining in the news over the last few months about the delivery of free housing and all that sort of thing, all well and good you know I can understand that you would want your free house, I mean who wouldn’t, but you know the problem is that these people are not paying their rates and taxes and I’m not talking about desperately poor people I’m talking about people who have a source of income, I just don’t get how you can expect the government to provide you with these free houses if you won’t support the system.

Crazy Specials

Do you have a swollen body, Failing to have babies, writing exams, have a court case... what do these things have in common? They all form part of a list of things that are curable with the help of a natural healer. That’s right these people claim to have a cure for HIV, a disease that kills thousands of people every day and has modern doctors at a loss for words, but it’s all good because it can be healed down the road by a guy that can also make your penis larger for R50.00 what really concerns me though is that these people are taking advantage of poor uneducated people who are really sick. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying traditional medicine can’t help you or cure your diseases but the fact is that AIDS is incurable.

The Twilight Zone

Have you ever been in the twilight zone? What that basically is is when you feel like what is going on around you is so weird and impossible that you must have like gone into some other world, that world is the twilight zone, where there’s no police, no reason, no shame and no sense. I have had a few encounters with this kind of situation.So I once went to a pretty popular gaming event, I wont say the name but it is huge and it lasts the whole weekend and you sit there with your PC and you don’t sleep, so anyway the one night, at a very late hour when most people had passed out on the keyboard I sent outside with my friend Roberto for a smoke and on my way out I noticed the people who were awake were watching porn on their computers, two strange little boys particularly caught my attention, I mean they were really watching some raunchy stuff.So I get outside and have my smoke and just as I’m about to go in me and Roberto spot those same kids, so I decided for a laugh I would go and ask them what they were watching, the answer wasn’t exactly what I expected, turns out these two kids are fascinated by the storyline in porn and their parents allow them to watch it openly because they too know that the only place to catch a good deep storyline these days is in porn, I laughed so hard and so loud that I just ran away, I must have cried with laughter for about 10 mins.