True to the blue

Its the weekend we have all been waiting for, if you are lucky like me then it starts before most of you even wake up but even if you do have work today it’s all good because its the Vodacom super 14 final between the ever amazing , always on top Blue Bulls vs. the less than inspiring chiefs so get your shirt, flag and horns and head down to your local sports bar if you weren’t lucky enough to get tickets and lets watch the Bulls wipe the floor with those sucker fools. If you haven’t got tickets but won’t settle for anything less than Loftus you can tune in to the breakfast and the Drive today where we will be giving away some of those sought after gems.

On my last show I started this new thing, it’s called YouTube beauts and what that is, is a selection of all of the coolest videos available on YouTube, you know just to save you some browsing time, Wednesday morning’s video of this guy names Kimbo slice who basically walks around and beats people up on the streets of America, and while I was posting the video I think I came across tonight’s winner and it is Kimbo Slice yet again, this time he pays some fool $100 to dress up in football gear and stand still so Kimbo can tackle him, I promise you it gives flying without wings a new definition.

I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining in the news over the last few months about the delivery of free housing and all that sort of thing, all well and good you know I can understand that you would want your free house, I mean who wouldn’t, but you know the problem is that these people are not paying their rates and taxes and I’m not talking about desperately poor people I’m talking about people who have a source of income, I just don’t get how you can expect the government to provide you with these free houses if you won’t support the system.

Crazy Specials

Do you have a swollen body, Failing to have babies, writing exams, have a court case... what do these things have in common? They all form part of a list of things that are curable with the help of a natural healer. That’s right these people claim to have a cure for HIV, a disease that kills thousands of people every day and has modern doctors at a loss for words, but it’s all good because it can be healed down the road by a guy that can also make your penis larger for R50.00 what really concerns me though is that these people are taking advantage of poor uneducated people who are really sick. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying traditional medicine can’t help you or cure your diseases but the fact is that AIDS is incurable.

The Twilight Zone

Have you ever been in the twilight zone? What that basically is is when you feel like what is going on around you is so weird and impossible that you must have like gone into some other world, that world is the twilight zone, where there’s no police, no reason, no shame and no sense. I have had a few encounters with this kind of situation.So I once went to a pretty popular gaming event, I wont say the name but it is huge and it lasts the whole weekend and you sit there with your PC and you don’t sleep, so anyway the one night, at a very late hour when most people had passed out on the keyboard I sent outside with my friend Roberto for a smoke and on my way out I noticed the people who were awake were watching porn on their computers, two strange little boys particularly caught my attention, I mean they were really watching some raunchy stuff.So I get outside and have my smoke and just as I’m about to go in me and Roberto spot those same kids, so I decided for a laugh I would go and ask them what they were watching, the answer wasn’t exactly what I expected, turns out these two kids are fascinated by the storyline in porn and their parents allow them to watch it openly because they too know that the only place to catch a good deep storyline these days is in porn, I laughed so hard and so loud that I just ran away, I must have cried with laughter for about 10 mins.

Health Minister has his say

There is a lot of hype at the moment around the medical health industry. Apparently Doctors are threatening to strike at the end of this month if they don’t receive a 50 – 70% pay increase. Now we all have this idea that doctors are paid a lot of money but that doesn’t seem to be the case, a general surgeon at a hospital in Durban says he earns R19000.00 after deductions including pay for overtime, so that means that he earns R365.00 per hour, I don’t know if that’s fair or not but what I do know is doctors take an oath to save lives and it seems like they have forgotten that little fact. I read an interview with the minister of health Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi and he has a whole bunch of interesting things to say about this dispute.Minister Motsoaledi’s response to the various questions posed to him went something along the lines of: although he sympathises with the doctors and he thinks their demands may be fair it’s just not realistic in this current economic climate, He himself was once a public sector doctor and he knows that the hours are hard but at the end of the day the reason that so much is demanded of doctors is because of a shortage in the field making it difficult to relieve doctors, the minister even had a solution to the problem, he says that he will be re-opening government nursing colleges in an effort to relieve work load in the hospital environment. I don’t know what you guys think but this sounds like a man who is willing to work on the issues in his department and I agree with him fully when he says that strike action should never reach the point that we no longer care about people’s lives.

Have you been to see an IPL match in the last few weeks? if you have been listening to Tuks FM then you probably would have if you had any luck, we gave away a whole bunch of those tickets, but that’s not my point, the point is that this was a great opportunity for SA I mean Cricket South Africa has made R45 000 000 from this little tournament and I think the Indians have given world Cricket a good example of how to expand the game in terms of fan enjoyment and revenue, think about an IPL match, it’s not just about the cricket it’s about the dancing and all those other little entertainment spin offs that generate huge income, look at IPL teams, not only are they the best Indian players but they have a whole bunch of internationals and South Africans especially, this is what makes a sport wealthy when it becomes like soccer.

Just chill Vavi

Who hasn’t heard of Cosatu? Everyone has heard of Cosatu because it is such a huge trade union, with a lot of power. Last week they kicked up a little fuss when Cosatu boss Zwelinzima Vavi tried to hold back the purchase of 15% of Vodacom’s shares to Vodaphone. I was just reading an Interview with Vavi about this very matter and the guy had some points but he also had some shortfalls. His basic story was that to some extent he didn’t want “the Mbeki people” in the elephant consortium getting the large amounts of money out of the deal, although he did say something about that only being a minor reason, the main reason being that jobs will be lost, similar to when Telkom partially privatised. He also spoke about democracy saying that we shouldn’t let punishment by the markets hamper our democracy... I have a little question for you Vavi and it is this: you support democracy so whole heartedly, we all know that but tell me why does a trade union get to decide what shareholders can and can’t do?

Some Swagger

So earlier today I was paging through the Sunday Times Newspaper and I came across a columnist that seems to have the right balance between serious/interesting subject matter and the comical spin we all know and love characteristic to media personalities. The guy’s name is Fred Khumalo and his column this Sunday was all about swagger basically, and if you don’t know what that is it’s kind of like your ability to pick up women. So I started reading and it turns out this is kind of like a guide for people with no swagger to learn some of the pickup lines that are used by what Khumalo calls “Ukushela” – basically people with swagger – I thought I would give you a few examples of these bound to work pickup lines but before I do keep in mind that these lines were traditionally used by people in poor African communities and so they may not make so much sense to a more European perspective:
1. If you saw a beautiful lady a Xhosa man might say: “oh, my mother’s daughter, you are my pleasant shady place of rest, my umbrella. – Very poetic don’t you think.

2. A Zulu man in the same situation might say: ‘ah your skin is so tender, it looks as if you wash with milk and towel off with slices of polony

Now I’m not going to lie that last one was a bit strange but man I didn’t realise African languages are so deep.

UNISA Riot !!!

A few days ago I heard about a little fight brewing on the UNISA campus, apparently students who did not pay (sorry who could not pay) their tuition fees have been denied admission to the exams, now that’s pretty routine wouldn't you say? well a large bunch of said kids have vowed to make UNISA ungovernable on Thursday if they are not allowed to write with a spokesperson for the strike saying that they (the strikers) would use any tactic necessary to achieve their goals and that it would probably be militant. Why you ask? Because according to him poor students should have the right to further education as well, but answer me this what if the entire university was poor? What then? Who would pay the teachers then? You people need a reality check!!

So by now you should know that I have a little bit of a "thing" for Bob Marley and so I try to do atleast one feature on him per show. I was wondering through the news and I came accross an article on a distant relation of his, Carole Tovey a 66 year old lady from a coastal town in south England who has never been to Jamaica or smoked pot. Turns out this unlikely candidate born Carole Marley is the Great great niece of marley's Grandfather Albert Thomas Marley who went to the new world to persue interests in the mahogany trade, Albert's son Norval had an affair with a 17 year old African girl at the age of 50, the result was one of the greatest musicians of all time : Robert Nesta Marley

Bob Marley, argueably one of the greatest musicians of all time ! Well actually Time Magazine placed his album Exodus at number one album of the 20th century. So what can I tell you about him that you dont already know ? well get this he died of cancer right ? right exept it was cancer of the toe and due to Rastafari beliefs that the body should remain whole he refused to have it amputated. know what else is sad ? he didnt have a will because of Rastafari beliefs that writing a will aknowledges the inevitable nature of death. what is pretty cool though is that his last words to his son Ziggy Marley was "Money cant buy Life".

Marley recieved a state funeral. RIP

Tuks FM's Most Wanted

Track Listing

Disc 1

1. aKING - The Dance
2. Seether - The Gift
3. Chevelle - The Clincher
4. Die Straatligkinders - Die Avontuur van 'n Hartbreek
5. Disturbed - Down With The Sickness
6. Coheed and Cambria - The Suffering
7. Slipknot - Duality
8. Korn - Coming Undone
9. System Of A Down - Chop Suey
10. Placebo - Every Me, Every You
11. Breaking Benjamin - Breath
12. Springbok Nude Girls - Little
13. Prime Circle - Out Of This Place
14. Japan and I - Chinese Warrior
15. Finger Eleven - Paralyzer
16. Stealing Love Jones - Kicks
17. Atreyu - Doomsday
18. The Almost - Say This Sooner
19. Sick Puppies - Pitiful
20. Wonderboom - Africa

Disc 2

1. Foto Na Dans - Soldaatvolk
2. Billy Talent - Red Flag
3. 30 Seconds To Mars - Attack
4. Fokofpolisiekar - Ek Skyn (Heilig)
5. Bullet for My Valentine - Tears Don't Fall
6. The Used - The Bird and The Worm
7. Cassette - Sometimes
8. The Parlotones Lisa Se Klavier
9. Everclear - When It All Goes Wrong Again
10. Radiohead - Creep
11. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
12. Perez - Wasted Out
13. Fuzigish - Mocambique
14. Lacuna Coil - Our Truth
15. Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
16. Fountains of Wayne - Mexican Wine
17. The Narrow - Shoot the DJ
18. Underoath - Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
19. We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt
20. Panic Channel - Why Cry
21. One Day Remains - Never Say Die

The Dalai Lama gets told to go eat a fat one

So I think by now we all know that the Dalai Lama was denied entry into SA for a peace conference or something like that and the officials that denied him a visa gave the weak excuse that at the time they didn’t want him taking attention away from the world cup (yeah right its next year)... Now the guy is actually a Nobel peace prize winner, which kind of puts him up there on the same level as Nelson Mandela. Apparently our “new” government has said that the Dalai Lama is welcome here anytime he’d like to come and visit SA. You see this is what I hate about politics, one minute they have such and such a goal and the next minute they have changed their tune completely. Stay tuned if you want to hear exactly what I think the motivation behind all this was. So basically my opinion on this whole thing is that the ANC didn’t want the Dalai Lama taking attention away from the election, or exposing any particular parties’ violations of human rights or certain parties’ support for China’s communist vibe. I mean if we are the country with the biggest appreciation for freedom then let the man have his say!

Far, so far sweet oslo

So guess what I found out today ?? Well not only do we have thousands upon thousands of fans here at home but stats show that we also have like 368 fans in Oslo Norway. Its so randomly cool that I think I need to go on holiday to that nordic heaven. I wonder where else we have fans ?? dont worry I'll keep you posted !

UPDATE: so I said I would keep you up to date .. looks like we have 109 fans from the UK aswel !! Tuks FM Total World Takeover

DJ Social

So uhm basicaly we went to dropzone (all us DJ's) and then we were given large amounts of shooters.. and beer... and brandy and then we played pool, well to be honest I only played one game (me and Stav vs Robbie and Ryan). I usually love pool and all those sort of bar games but fuck it the stakes were a bit high ! I wont say what but if you were in DZ on monday nyt you would know what I'm talking about. By the way your boi Samson Oduntan was there too (can you believe that shit ??) and he was wasted. It was an awesome social !!

JZ selected Mulder ???

So we've all heard by now that Dr. Pieter Mulder has been selected as the Deputy Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries. I don’t know what to think about all this ? I mean he is the leader of the VF+ which is one of the biggest oppositions to the ANC's rule. But you know if I think back Zuma has always been a big supporter of the Afrikaners (I remember how much I laughed and thought that he was just trying to win votes) but maybe just maybe he really and truly is a legitimate good guy. what if we have all had the wrong impression of him from the beginning ? let’s think about that: It was found that the evidence against him was not gathered in a lawful manner, and that ex pres. Thabo Mbeki had a hand in all of it. So maybe Zuma was being conspired against. Who knows? and I’m not saying that appointing Mulder makes all the JZ controversy go away I’m just saying give the guy a chance.

Studio Controls Test

So check it, when you ask to become a DJ and they say yes, You then become an aspiring DJ until you pass your very complicated studio controls test, which I can tell you is probably the most difficult test in the world with the most nervousness involoved ever. But guess what I passed it. it was probably the best feeling in the world. enough said.