Santana - The man

Delivered with a level of passion and soul equal to the legendary sonic charge of his guitar, the sound of Carlos Santana is one of the world's best-known musical signatures. For more than four decades – from Santana's earliest days as a groundbreaking Afro-Latin-blues-rock fusion outfit in San Francisco – Carlos has been the visionary force behind artistry that transcends musical genres, generational, cultural and geographical boundaries.


Long before the category now known as "world music" was named, Santana's ever-evolving sound has always been ahead of its time in its universal appeal, and today registers as ideally in sync with the 21st century's pan-cultural landscape. And, with a dedication to humanitarian outreach and social activism that parallels his lifelong relationship with music, Carlos Santana is as much an exemplary world citizen as a global music icon.

Carlos Santana's current project is Supernatural Santana: A Trip Through The Hits, a musical retrospective created in partnership with AEG Live exclusively for the new Joint at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. Santana will be the first act to hold a residency at the spectacular, newly-expanded venue, and the band will perform 72 times at the Joint over the course of 2009 and 2010. The show, debuting in May '09, includes Santana numbers ranging from "Jingo" — the group's first-ever charting single — and early classics including "Black Magic Woman" and "Oye Como Va" through the Supernatural "Smooth" years and the group's most recent hit, 2008's "Into the Night."

Carlos' influence and idealism is also felt in the groundbreaking new project Architects of a New Dawn (www.aoand.com), a multi-platform media enterprise and social network designed to empower like-minded people from all walks of life to create positive change in the global community. The project grew out of a vision Carlos has been developing for almost 20 years to engage his worldwide audience with extraordinary music, progressive media content and transformational ideas. It is all in the service of building — architecting — a new reality for the planet based on inspiration, creativity, love and forgiveness.

Santana's star arrived in the era-defining late '60s San Francisco Bay area music scene with historic shows at the Fillmore and other venues. They emerged onto the global stage with an epic set at Woodstock '69, the same year that their self-titled debut LP came out. Introducing Santana's first Top 10 hit, "Evil Ways," the disc stayed on Billboard's album chart for 2 years, and was soon followed by two more classics — and Billboard #1 albums — Abraxas and Santana III.

Forty years and as many albums later, Santana has sold more than 90 million records and reached over 100 million fans at concerts around the globe. To date, Santana has won ten GRAMMY® Awards and two Latin GRAMMYs. Among them are a bevy for 1999's Supernatural — which has sold more than 26 million copies worldwide — including GRAMMYs for Album of the Year and Record of the Year for "Smooth." In 1998, the group was ushered into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, whose web page on their induction notes, "Guitarist Carlos Santana is one of rock's true virtuosos and guiding lights." Among many other honors, Carlos Santana has also been cited by Rolling Stone as #15 on their list of the "100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time," and #90 on their 2005 survey of the "100 Greatest Artists Of All Time."

Most recently, Carlos Santana is the recipient of the Billboard Latin Music Awards' 2009 Lifetime Achievement honor (he also received Billboard's Century Award in 1996), and the music of Santana has been celebrated with two album retrospectives. Multi-Dimensional Warrior (Columbia/Arista/Legacy, 2008) is a career-spanning 2-CD anthology presenting 28 selections hand-picked by Carlos, who calls the project, "a love letter to the fans." Divided between tracks with vocals and instrumental compositions, it emphasizes album cuts and personal favorites that evoke the band's hypnotic musical power and give deeper insight into its complex creative journey. The set follows up 2007's Ultimate Santana, the only single-disc collection uniting hits from the group's recent albums for Arista and classics from their Columbia years.

As profound as his artistic legacy is Carlos' dedication to humanitarian work. His Milagro Foundation, originally established by Carlos and Deborah Santana in 1998, has granted more than three million dollars to non-profit programs supporting underserved children and youth in the areas of arts, education and health. Milagro means "miracle," and the image of children as divine miracles of light and hope — as gifts to our lives — is the inspiration behind its name.

Rock News Featuren - 22 of Rocktober

Mettalica Issued a statment on tuesday asking for help in locating a missing fan. Here is what they had to say: We are deeply concerned about the disapearance of 20 year old Virginia Tech Student Morgan Dana Harrington, who was last seen while attending our concert, HA-HA forgive me but maybe I didnt get the Memo? since when does Mettallica give a F#@$ I mean come on now the guy was at a rock concert, he is probably passed out somewhere sleeping off his hangover, not that Im not concerned, I mean since when does Mettalica have 20 year old fans? final verdict? Publicity is GOLD well done boys

The Twisted Bucket List

I often watch movies just to relax and waste time, which usually leads to repeats, the other day I watched the bucket list, a movie about a list of things to do before you die, and I thought, "yeah what a concept I could use a little fuel myself" haha no this isint a smashmouth sing along, I thought how silly it was that all the hardcore things arent on the list, all the things everyone wants to do but no one has the guts to admit, no one exept me and the capital city that is. So here is my Bucket List with a Twist.

1. Ram into someone that cuts infront of me in the traffic

2. buy a drink and then spill it on someone elses' new expensive suit ( Sean the producer of the drive show had this happen to him, what a doosh)

3. apply for a job and then once I get it wipe my behind with the employment contract

4. punch slow walking people in the back of the head

5. take my neighbors copy of kurt darren and put it in the microwave

6. be the guy that sees a random hot woman in the street and actaully grabs her breast

Here is what some of the capital city want to do before they die!

1. Ek wil op julius malema se bonet pis! - Ryno

2. I would love to steal something really valuable - Kelly

3.Friends House party. Arrive. Rufee dad, nail mom. Leave - Anon

Rock News 4th October 2009

If you didn’t know, U2 are currently busy with their 360 world tour which is set to run well into 2010 but sources at the Edge have informed me that the band plans to bring out their next album “sooner rather than later.” The album will be called Songs Of Ascent. The bands Guitarist told the media that it will feature some songs from the past that they just never got around to finishing.
Ozzy Osbounre has told sources that his families MTV reality show was an experiment that went wildly out of control, the show often showed a very confused domestic life with wild outbursts from the family members, it also introduced Ozzy to many new fans to which Ozzy responded by saying that the attention was “really creepy.” I think from my side watching Ozzy try to wrap his head around crazy tasks like using a TV remote was also “really creepy.”

Rob Zombie is set to bring out a new album on November 17th (yippee!) like all fan loving artists he has been good enough to give us a sneak peak by hooking up two tracks "Sick Bubblegum" and "What?" for our streaming pleasure. I had a listen to them earlier and I must say they sound pretty cool, the links and track listing are on my blog for you to check out.

Blue Bulls Move to Third on the Log

If you didn’t watch the game yesterday you are either not from Pretoria, a sharks supporter or dare I say it not a rugby fan. But for those of you who genuinely just didn’t get a chance to watch it, maybe if you were at rage for instance, I am going to do what I do every Sunday and that is recount the absolute awesomeness that is the blue bulls.

Firstly I have to mention that the blue bulls have moved up to third place on the Log, and not because they are lucky bit because yesterday we destroyed the Griquas 61-27 at Loftus. Now the player that stood out for me was Habana who scored two tries, but thats not why I was watching him, the reason is that it could be his last game for the Bulls and he had to go off for what seemed like a leg injury.

I think its absolutely fine that he has decieded to move teams, you cant stay in the same club forever. He also got married recently so maybe he just wants to get out of the huge bulls spotlight for a while.

Who’s That Rock Star?

• He was born Brian Hugh Warner in January 5 1969 in the USA

• In 2004 he proposed to Dita Von Teese, they are no longer together

• His first album Portrait of an American Family was released in 1994

• He is currently directing a gothic style rework of Cinderella staring Emma Watson

• He has sold more than 44 million albums world wide

• He had a rib removed a while ago so that he would be able to have oral sex with himself!

• His newest single on Tuks FM is called Arma-goddamn-motherFing-Gedon

• That’s right it’s Marilyn Manson!

Some stuff about the guy:

• He has 7 studio albums, 1 live album, 9 independently made albums and 24 music videos to his name

• His stage name Marilyn Manson comes from Marilyn Monroe and convicted murderer Charles Manson

• One of my favourite Manson Quotes is: “I'm grateful that I have two middle fingers, I only wish I had more.” This shows just how crazy this guy is!

Sundays winner is Neville! well done!

DJ AM's Death an Accident !!!

law enforcement sources say the death of DJ AM was the result of an accidental overdose and not a suicide.
Ironically, sources indicated that DJ AM was a recovering addict who developed a dependency to Xanax and other benzodiazepines (a group of drugs used to treat anxiety) as a direct result of the plane crash a year ago.
Doctors began prescribing Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications to DJ AM (real name Adam Goldstein) relieve his fear of flying, but the benzodiazepines triggered a relapse into addiction.
Source also said that the overdose had "absolutely nothing to do with his recent breakup".

Rock News 30/08/09

Sources close to Slipknot say that the official reason for drummer Joey Jordison's hospitalization over the weekend was a "burst appendix," although that has yet to be officially confirmed by either the band's record label or management.
On Wednesday, a blog called Rock On: Altitude — which promotes a mobile media channel of the same name — published a piece with the headline "Is Hayley Williams of Paramore Pregnant" Somewhat understandably, the post irked Williams, who took to her Twitter account to address the report. "What is this, the 10th time?" she wrote, linking to the Rock On story. "Just call me 'Octomom
DJ AM, the celebrity disc jockey who publicly acknowledged his history of drug addiction and had filmed a reality show in which he offered to help other addicts, was found dead in his apartment. He was 36.
are back at it with new singer William Duvall and Wednesday they treated Seattle fans to a special invite-only acoustic performance at Experience Music Project followed by the debut of their new record Black Gives Way To Blue
The Killers will play at the Coca-Cola Dome in Johannesburg on December 4 and at the Val De Vie Estate in Cape Town on December 6. Tickets range from R269 to R526 and are available at Computicket.

Gallagher explains why he quit

Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher claims "verbal and violent intimidation" led to his decision to leave the Britpop band.
In a letter to fans posted to the band's website on Saturday, Gallagher also apologizes for having to cancel European concerts.
The posting says "the level of verbal and violent intimidation towards me, my family, friends and comrades has become intolerable."
Gallagher offers no details about what the intimidation was, and doesn't specify who was responsible.

Drinking games

having a party ? well best you print this out and take it with you, just dont drive afterwards haha !

Flip, Sip, or Strip!
The game is best with 3 to 5 people, but more and the game will last longer. The rules are simple. Flip a coin and while it is in the air, call heads or tails. If you guess right, pass the coin to your right. If you guess wrong, pass the coin to your left and either take one article of clothing off (anything that is a pair counts as one item) or drink a shot. One catch, you cannot do the same thing (sip or strip) more than twice in a row.
Edward quart Hands
In order to play this game all you need is duct tape and 2 quarts of beer for each person. You tape one quart to each of your hands and you can’t take them off until both of the quarts are empty.
This means that if you need to go to the bathroom, you either chug the beers or wet yourself. You can’t answer your cell phone, or basically do anything until you drink the 2 quart s completely. The point of the game is to make people drink a lot of beer fast.


Beer Pong
You will need one ping pong ball and 12 glasses of beer. Arrange six glasses of beer on either side of a table as if you were setting up bowling pins. Divide yourselves in to two groups. Each group should sit opposite the other with 6 beers in front of them. As you take your turn, you must throw the ping pong ball in to the opposite teams glasses. If it lands inside a glass, the opposing team must drink the beer immediately. Once done, rearrange the beers so they are all close to each other. The winning team is the team that manages to make the opposing team drink all their drinks. At the end of the game, the losing team must drink all remaining beer on the winning side.

Phobias

I am shit scared of spiders and I always felt like leaa of a man because of it, until I found these on google ! check it out !

- Phallophobia
Defined as “a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of an erect penis”, each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress. To add insult to an already distressing condition, most fear of erection therapies take months or years and sometimes even require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to their fear.
- Coulrophobia
Coulrophobia is an abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. It is not uncommon among children, but is also sometimes found in teenagers and adults as well. Sufferers sometimes acquire a fear of clowns after having a bad experience with one personally, or seeing a sinister portrayal of one in the media.
- Ergasiophobia
Ergasiophobia can be a persistent and debilitating disorder in some people, causing significant psychological disability and dysfunction. These individuals may actually be suffering from an underlying mental health problem such as depression or Attention Deficit Disorder.
- Panphobia
Panphobia, also called omniphobia is a medical condition known as a “non-specific fear”; the sufferer finds themselves in a state of fear but with no known target, and therefore no easy remedy.
- Neophobia
Neophobia is the fear of new things or experiences. It is also called cainotophobia. In psychology, neophobia is defined as the persistent and abnormal fear of anything new. In its milder form, it can manifest as the unwillingness to try new things or break from routine.

Places you have to visit to try the drinks of the world.

Margarita – if you like your mixed drinks then apparently Maria’s New Mexican Kitchen, Santa Fe, New Mexico has the ultimate taste for you. This restaurant claims to have the worlds best margaritas and many of its patrons would agree

Beer - Prague is one of the world's great pub cities it is home to some of the worlds best beers such as Pilsner Urquell, Velkopopovický, and Staropramen. If beer is your say “cup of tea” then U Fleku in the chech republic is the place for you

Champagne – france is the quint essential place to be for a good old fashioned toast with a glass of champagne, they did after all create the stuff and whats more the many producers offer tours similar to the wine rout we have in cape town

Five things a man must be able to do

1. Must be able to cook a good meal.

Long gone are the days of hunting and gathering, where any food was considered good food. A real man should know his way around a kitchen and be able to cook a good meal now and again.

2. Must be able to fix anything

You’re only as good as what you can accomplish so basically if you cant fix stuff you aren’t worth much, start learning

3. Basic First aid

CPR, the Heimlich maneuver, dressing cuts, scrapes, burns, and bruises, are all invaluable skills that could benefit you to know. It could mean the difference between life and death, or simply make you more comfortable.

4. Good conversation

A good conversation is almost an art form. The ability to be interesting and charismatic without dominating a conversation is a skill reserved for the real men amongst us.

5. Be able to play wingman

As a man, you have certain responsibilities to your friends. Possibly the most important one is to help him get laid. It may involve starting the conversation, or even distracting the less desirable friend. You should be able to accept anything short of long-term physical injury in order to help a buddy out.

Rock News 28/07/09

· John "Marmaduke" Dawson, a longtime Grateful Dead collaborator who co-wrote "Friend of the Devil. The songwriter died at age 64 from stomach cancer
· The UK's The Sun is reporting that a new John Lennon song could be published from beyond the grave - 30 years after his death. The lyrics to the song "Tell Her Now" were penned by the murdered Beatle in the 1960s, but no music was ever written to go with them.
· Blink 182 kicked off their reunion tour last Thursday in Las Vegas, apparently they rocked out like we all know and love them.

Crazy Diets

Tapeworm – this is absolutely insane, people have actually eaten a tapeworm larvae in a cyst and then let it grow to maturity in their stomach, all the while eating all their food causing the body to use fat instead, you then simply take worm pills that kill the bugger and poop it out.
Fletcherizing – this involves chewing your food 32 times with your head tilted slightly forward, you then tilt it backward, any food that doesn’t naturally slide down your throat must be spat out. The inventor also said we should chew liquid and not eat when angry or sad.
Shangri-La diet – with this bad boy you can eat what you want as much as you want, as long as for two hours a day all you taste and eat is either sugar water or olive oil a whole 100 – 400 calories apparently this lowers the optimum weight for your body.

Some Pretty Nasty Food.

Casu Marzu – it is a traditional Sardinian cheese that is actually outlawed because it usually comes with a whole bunch of live insects inside the cheese, fortunately or unfortunately these insects sometimes die and make the cheese toxic and deadly, so basically its Russian Roulette but with cheese.
Raw blood soup – you can thank the Vietnamese for this one, its usually chilled duck blood but they have been known to go for pig as well. No wonder swine flu and bird flu is on the rise. I asked my Vietnamese friend why they ate this all he could say was that in his country they enjoy a healthy breakfast. Don’t worry it usually comes with some peanuts on top
Surströmming – this eighth wonder of the modern world has actually been around for millennia, turns out is all it is, is a bunch of extremely rotten sardines, so rotten in fact that it is often eaten outdoors.

Ways to live longer

1. Don’t oversleep – studies have recently shown that sleeping more than eight hours a day can actually lower your life expectancy – that means go out more !
2. Be optimistic – if you love life it will love you, and it has been found that people who are less stressed live longer
3. Have more sex – this lowers stress and risk of heart attacks and strokes
4. But a dog – people who own dogs actually have a 12% better chance of surviving a heart attack and have lower stress levels
5. Get a VAP – this test can tell you exactly what is going on with your heart and we all know how important that is
6. Be rich – if you have money you can afford better health care plain and simple
7. Stop smoking – we all do it but the reality is that it takes a huge toll on your health and you only feel the effects years later, if you insist on smoking drink orange juice.
8. Don’t get angry – scientists recently discovered that people that respond to stress with anger are almost 3 times as likely to die than those that don’t
9. Eat antioxidants, these things actually slow down the rate of aging of your cellsMarry well – the ability to live long is to some degree inherited.

Rock News 22/07/09

· Its official Weezer is almost done with their 7th album to date unfortunately the album title is still TBA
· Apparently Blink 182 will spare no expense when it comes to their upcoming reunion tour, they have hired an absolute legend when it comes to stage rigging, stay tuned to my shows for updates
· Yeah Yeah Yeahs have joined the Lollapalooza festival lineup as the headliners for Saturday night (August 8). This means that the yeah yeah yeahs are replacing the beastie boys due to the unfortunate cancer of one of the members that I told you about last night
· Sum 41 are back from their recent tour with the offspring, that means they are ahrd at work on their new album

Cheapest ways to get drunk

1. home-brewed alcohol native to India, sounds too bad at all. Granted, its 90 percent alcohol content will end you. It is simply made by fermenting the mash of sugar cane pulp in large ceramic containers.
2. Russian aftershave Boasting a 97 percent alcohol content that should earn it a skull and crossbones on the label, the cheap aftershaves are often bottled to resemble cheap vodka, because, you know, drinking out of an actual aftershave bottle would just be humiliating.
3. Thunder bird – introduced after the American prohibition, they produced radio ads with the catchy lyrics, "What's the word / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice." You know what's not awesome about that? Not a damn thing.
4. Pruno made from fruit, water, sugar and tomato sauce – most commonly found in prison toilets, may prison guards opt to urinate in the mix rather than confiscate it, most prisoners never realize, it is after all a drink best served with a side dish off prison sex.
5. Changaa - A Kenyan alcohol made by gangsters at home, they often mix it with jet fuel to make it more potent. In case you wondered this stuff kills thousands of people each year.

Top 10 Greatest guitar solos of all time

1 "Johnny B. Goode" Chuck Berry (1958)
2 "Purple Haze" The Jimi Hendrix Experience (1967)
3 "Crossroads" Cream (1968)
4 "You Really Got Me" The Kinks (1964)
5 "Brown Sugar" The Rolling Stones (1971)
6 "Eruption" Van Halen (1978)
7 "While My Guitar GentlyWeeps" The Beatles (1968)
9 "Statesboro Blues" The Allman Brothers Band (1971)
10 "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana (1991)

The Tuks FM Mettle Massacre

You better be there, the Tuks FM mettle massacre, brought to you by the authority of rock music. its going to be the biggest party this year ! as Michael bower would say "Praise the Loud"

Ten Tips for Better Sex

Most people make sex a casual thing and this often leads to it becoming a rather boring and robotic activity, have no fear because I have written a list of ten points that is guaranteed to improve your sex life.

1. Start early – sex doesn’t start when you get into bed, your chances of having sex is influenced throughout the day, so make him/her feel special throughout the day.
2. Pay attention to touch – the desirability of sexual touch is increased if there is a lot of touch happening all the time in a non sexual setting. E.G massaging her shoulders or feet during a movie or holding hands.
3. Look good – forget the whole “she’ll accept me however I look” thing, fact is you need to look good at all times if you want to get any.
4. Smell good – if you smell good she will want to get closer to you, there is nothing worse than someone who hasn’t at least put deo on.
5. Master the art of good conversation – when conversation stops people start to feel uncomfortable and bored, two things that do not promote getting intimate.
6. Share activities – if your partner wants to go somewhere or do something tag along this makes more time to talk and more opportunities to get intimate.
7. Make time for romance – having a set date even after a year of being together really heightens the likely hood of intimacy.
8. Be spontaneous – you can do this and still set dates, do things on the whim, go somewhere random, live out your fantasies where ever you are.
9. Take care of yourself – you can spot someone who is run down pretty easily, so get rest and stay fit, it also means you have more energy for intimacy.
10. Let go in bed – its meant to be an escape so let go of all your problems otherwise your stress will tense your muscles, not a good thing.

Fuck My Life Update

You have come to know and love the regular "Fuck my Life" feature on my shows, so I have decieded to make it a definate regular. here is your update

1. Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

2. Today, I finally got Wii Fit to lose some weight. Came home and set it all up only to be told that I weigh too much to use the board. FML

3. Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

4. Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

5. Today, I thought my boyfriend of 6 years was going to propose to me. We're high school sweethearts and he was my first. Just when he was looking into my eyes he says, “I’ve been seeing someone else for 2 years and I'm choosing her over you... it was a tough decision". FML

6. Today, I spent 3 hours looking at a youtube video for how to do rubik's cube. Even after being told how to do it, I couldn't finish it. I scroll down at the comments and read "Awesome! I'm 10 and can do it in 3 minutes now!". I'm 28 and still couldn't get it, even with a guide. FML

News of the Weird

News of the weird
Lots of weird things happen every day, I mean I’m a living example. The point is though that I have decided to shed some light into the dark world of the weird. So here are the headlines for 07.07.09
1. Jeffrey Salery, a 50-year-old inmate at John Latorraca Correctional Facility now faces battery charges for pummeling another inmate, who allegedly "disrespected" the King of Pop.

2. Guards become suspicious when 31 year old inmate at Howard county jail in America used huge amounts of toilet paper, suspecting dioreaha the guards thought nothing more of it until the inmate used the toilet paper as a wedge between his cell door, and he actually escaped.

3. Montana police caught up with Michael Dauwalder at a gas station after witnesses say he pulled into a parking lot and asked if anybody wanted to smoke dope. "I'm drunk as hell" the Montana man allegedly said before his blood alcohol level tested at .176, twice the state's legal limit.

4. Police say they arrested the pastor after finding 6.6 grams of crack in White's hotel room and 6.5 grams secreted in a body cavity -- and that would be taking the name of the drug just a little too literally.

5. The 34-year-old woman from Florida allegedly robbed a Wendy's over the weekend, and then got into a high speed chase on US-1, as her kid sat in the back.
6. When officers finally pulled Peters-Ortiz from the car, she was allegedly smoking cocaine. Hopefully, she'll learn that crime doesn't pay, especially when you can't find a baby sitter.

Excuses for getting out of a date !!

Inevitably the day will come when you are asked to go on a date by someone who you think is just plain nasty and well you will have to think up an excuse to get out of it. Personally I just say no, ‘cos that whole feelings thing doesn’t really mean all that much to me. Anyway here is the top ten most used excuses as found by an actual survey.
10. I`m washing my hair. (The lamest excuse there is but hey it works)9. My dog has been suffering from depression and I really think we need to spend some time together.8. I`m going to work abroad tomorrow but I`ll be back in six months why don`t I phone you then.7. My friend is going to be on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I`m her phone a friend and you know what these shows are like they could ring at any time.6. I have work commitments for the next 3 months but I will give you a ring at the end of it.5. My mother is coming to stay for a few weeks so don`t phone me I`ll phone you.4. I think I'm coming down with a cold, and I don`t want to give you it. 3. My horoscopes says be wary of men ------- (make something up that sums him up) and that sounds like you so I think things are best left alone don`t you?2. The football season has just started I`ll call you after it has ended. 1. I don`t think I`m ready for dating just yet.

Fuck My Life

have you ever had one of those situations where you are like.. fuck my life ? well se all do so dont fell too bad, here are some examples :

· Today, I came home from work late (2:30am). As I snuck carefully into bed and laid down next to my sleeping future wife, my fiancee half awake said "No, no... Dan will be home soon." I am Dan. FML

· Today, I went into work and noticed on of my fellow colleagues had received a large bunch of flowers and where sitting on her desk. As soon as I saw her I immediately said "Happy Birthday!". Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday, her father had died. FML

· Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

· Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML

· Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

· Today, I was on a roller coaster and this 13 year old sitting next to me was completely terrified. To cheer him up, I threw my hands in the air. While my hands were up, we hit a curve and I elbowed him in the face, making him cry. FML

I got a couple of responses on the sms line :

"May you please play me Attack by 30 Seconds To Mars for my F'd up life from Kaycee. " so during the TRT I phoned Kaycee and asked what made her morning fucked up, turns out "she" is a guy and I had called him sweetheart on the air. FML

Fantasy Rock Band

So tonight I ran a feature on a fantasy rock band, well because thats what us rock DJ's do, right after that I asked you guys for some comments or perhaps for you to give me your fantasy rock band. here is mine:

Fantasy Rock band
Vocalist: Corey Taylor (Slipknot)
Guitarist: Nuno Bettencourt (Extreme)
Drummer: Kate Schellenbach (Luscious Jackson; Beastie Boys)
Bassist: Flea (Red hot chillie peppers)
Rhythm Guitar: Stone Gossard (Pearl Jam)
Record label: Road Runner

Got a reponse from retief here his fantasy band is :

Retiefs Fantasy Rock band
vocals: Christina Scabbia(Lacuna Coil)
drums: Michael Bostaph(ex Slayer)
guitars: Bjorn Gellotte(In Flames) and Michael Amott(Arch Enemy)
Bassist is open for debate.

True to the blue

Its the weekend we have all been waiting for, if you are lucky like me then it starts before most of you even wake up but even if you do have work today it’s all good because its the Vodacom super 14 final between the ever amazing , always on top Blue Bulls vs. the less than inspiring chiefs so get your shirt, flag and horns and head down to your local sports bar if you weren’t lucky enough to get tickets and lets watch the Bulls wipe the floor with those sucker fools. If you haven’t got tickets but won’t settle for anything less than Loftus you can tune in to the breakfast and the Drive today where we will be giving away some of those sought after gems.

On my last show I started this new thing, it’s called YouTube beauts and what that is, is a selection of all of the coolest videos available on YouTube, you know just to save you some browsing time, Wednesday morning’s video of this guy names Kimbo slice who basically walks around and beats people up on the streets of America, and while I was posting the video I think I came across tonight’s winner and it is Kimbo Slice yet again, this time he pays some fool $100 to dress up in football gear and stand still so Kimbo can tackle him, I promise you it gives flying without wings a new definition.

I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining in the news over the last few months about the delivery of free housing and all that sort of thing, all well and good you know I can understand that you would want your free house, I mean who wouldn’t, but you know the problem is that these people are not paying their rates and taxes and I’m not talking about desperately poor people I’m talking about people who have a source of income, I just don’t get how you can expect the government to provide you with these free houses if you won’t support the system.

Crazy Specials

Do you have a swollen body, Failing to have babies, writing exams, have a court case... what do these things have in common? They all form part of a list of things that are curable with the help of a natural healer. That’s right these people claim to have a cure for HIV, a disease that kills thousands of people every day and has modern doctors at a loss for words, but it’s all good because it can be healed down the road by a guy that can also make your penis larger for R50.00 what really concerns me though is that these people are taking advantage of poor uneducated people who are really sick. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying traditional medicine can’t help you or cure your diseases but the fact is that AIDS is incurable.

The Twilight Zone

Have you ever been in the twilight zone? What that basically is is when you feel like what is going on around you is so weird and impossible that you must have like gone into some other world, that world is the twilight zone, where there’s no police, no reason, no shame and no sense. I have had a few encounters with this kind of situation.So I once went to a pretty popular gaming event, I wont say the name but it is huge and it lasts the whole weekend and you sit there with your PC and you don’t sleep, so anyway the one night, at a very late hour when most people had passed out on the keyboard I sent outside with my friend Roberto for a smoke and on my way out I noticed the people who were awake were watching porn on their computers, two strange little boys particularly caught my attention, I mean they were really watching some raunchy stuff.So I get outside and have my smoke and just as I’m about to go in me and Roberto spot those same kids, so I decided for a laugh I would go and ask them what they were watching, the answer wasn’t exactly what I expected, turns out these two kids are fascinated by the storyline in porn and their parents allow them to watch it openly because they too know that the only place to catch a good deep storyline these days is in porn, I laughed so hard and so loud that I just ran away, I must have cried with laughter for about 10 mins.

Health Minister has his say

There is a lot of hype at the moment around the medical health industry. Apparently Doctors are threatening to strike at the end of this month if they don’t receive a 50 – 70% pay increase. Now we all have this idea that doctors are paid a lot of money but that doesn’t seem to be the case, a general surgeon at a hospital in Durban says he earns R19000.00 after deductions including pay for overtime, so that means that he earns R365.00 per hour, I don’t know if that’s fair or not but what I do know is doctors take an oath to save lives and it seems like they have forgotten that little fact. I read an interview with the minister of health Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi and he has a whole bunch of interesting things to say about this dispute.Minister Motsoaledi’s response to the various questions posed to him went something along the lines of: although he sympathises with the doctors and he thinks their demands may be fair it’s just not realistic in this current economic climate, He himself was once a public sector doctor and he knows that the hours are hard but at the end of the day the reason that so much is demanded of doctors is because of a shortage in the field making it difficult to relieve doctors, the minister even had a solution to the problem, he says that he will be re-opening government nursing colleges in an effort to relieve work load in the hospital environment. I don’t know what you guys think but this sounds like a man who is willing to work on the issues in his department and I agree with him fully when he says that strike action should never reach the point that we no longer care about people’s lives.

Have you been to see an IPL match in the last few weeks? if you have been listening to Tuks FM then you probably would have if you had any luck, we gave away a whole bunch of those tickets, but that’s not my point, the point is that this was a great opportunity for SA I mean Cricket South Africa has made R45 000 000 from this little tournament and I think the Indians have given world Cricket a good example of how to expand the game in terms of fan enjoyment and revenue, think about an IPL match, it’s not just about the cricket it’s about the dancing and all those other little entertainment spin offs that generate huge income, look at IPL teams, not only are they the best Indian players but they have a whole bunch of internationals and South Africans especially, this is what makes a sport wealthy when it becomes like soccer.

Just chill Vavi

Who hasn’t heard of Cosatu? Everyone has heard of Cosatu because it is such a huge trade union, with a lot of power. Last week they kicked up a little fuss when Cosatu boss Zwelinzima Vavi tried to hold back the purchase of 15% of Vodacom’s shares to Vodaphone. I was just reading an Interview with Vavi about this very matter and the guy had some points but he also had some shortfalls. His basic story was that to some extent he didn’t want “the Mbeki people” in the elephant consortium getting the large amounts of money out of the deal, although he did say something about that only being a minor reason, the main reason being that jobs will be lost, similar to when Telkom partially privatised. He also spoke about democracy saying that we shouldn’t let punishment by the markets hamper our democracy... I have a little question for you Vavi and it is this: you support democracy so whole heartedly, we all know that but tell me why does a trade union get to decide what shareholders can and can’t do?

Some Swagger

So earlier today I was paging through the Sunday Times Newspaper and I came across a columnist that seems to have the right balance between serious/interesting subject matter and the comical spin we all know and love characteristic to media personalities. The guy’s name is Fred Khumalo and his column this Sunday was all about swagger basically, and if you don’t know what that is it’s kind of like your ability to pick up women. So I started reading and it turns out this is kind of like a guide for people with no swagger to learn some of the pickup lines that are used by what Khumalo calls “Ukushela” – basically people with swagger – I thought I would give you a few examples of these bound to work pickup lines but before I do keep in mind that these lines were traditionally used by people in poor African communities and so they may not make so much sense to a more European perspective:
1. If you saw a beautiful lady a Xhosa man might say: “oh, my mother’s daughter, you are my pleasant shady place of rest, my umbrella. – Very poetic don’t you think.

2. A Zulu man in the same situation might say: ‘ah your skin is so tender, it looks as if you wash with milk and towel off with slices of polony

Now I’m not going to lie that last one was a bit strange but man I didn’t realise African languages are so deep.

UNISA Riot !!!

A few days ago I heard about a little fight brewing on the UNISA campus, apparently students who did not pay (sorry who could not pay) their tuition fees have been denied admission to the exams, now that’s pretty routine wouldn't you say? well a large bunch of said kids have vowed to make UNISA ungovernable on Thursday if they are not allowed to write with a spokesperson for the strike saying that they (the strikers) would use any tactic necessary to achieve their goals and that it would probably be militant. Why you ask? Because according to him poor students should have the right to further education as well, but answer me this what if the entire university was poor? What then? Who would pay the teachers then? You people need a reality check!!

So by now you should know that I have a little bit of a "thing" for Bob Marley and so I try to do atleast one feature on him per show. I was wondering through the news and I came accross an article on a distant relation of his, Carole Tovey a 66 year old lady from a coastal town in south England who has never been to Jamaica or smoked pot. Turns out this unlikely candidate born Carole Marley is the Great great niece of marley's Grandfather Albert Thomas Marley who went to the new world to persue interests in the mahogany trade, Albert's son Norval had an affair with a 17 year old African girl at the age of 50, the result was one of the greatest musicians of all time : Robert Nesta Marley

Bob Marley, argueably one of the greatest musicians of all time ! Well actually Time Magazine placed his album Exodus at number one album of the 20th century. So what can I tell you about him that you dont already know ? well get this he died of cancer right ? right exept it was cancer of the toe and due to Rastafari beliefs that the body should remain whole he refused to have it amputated. know what else is sad ? he didnt have a will because of Rastafari beliefs that writing a will aknowledges the inevitable nature of death. what is pretty cool though is that his last words to his son Ziggy Marley was "Money cant buy Life".

Marley recieved a state funeral. RIP

Tuks FM's Most Wanted

Track Listing

Disc 1

1. aKING - The Dance
2. Seether - The Gift
3. Chevelle - The Clincher
4. Die Straatligkinders - Die Avontuur van 'n Hartbreek
5. Disturbed - Down With The Sickness
6. Coheed and Cambria - The Suffering
7. Slipknot - Duality
8. Korn - Coming Undone
9. System Of A Down - Chop Suey
10. Placebo - Every Me, Every You
11. Breaking Benjamin - Breath
12. Springbok Nude Girls - Little
13. Prime Circle - Out Of This Place
14. Japan and I - Chinese Warrior
15. Finger Eleven - Paralyzer
16. Stealing Love Jones - Kicks
17. Atreyu - Doomsday
18. The Almost - Say This Sooner
19. Sick Puppies - Pitiful
20. Wonderboom - Africa

Disc 2

1. Foto Na Dans - Soldaatvolk
2. Billy Talent - Red Flag
3. 30 Seconds To Mars - Attack
4. Fokofpolisiekar - Ek Skyn (Heilig)
5. Bullet for My Valentine - Tears Don't Fall
6. The Used - The Bird and The Worm
7. Cassette - Sometimes
8. The Parlotones Lisa Se Klavier
9. Everclear - When It All Goes Wrong Again
10. Radiohead - Creep
11. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down
12. Perez - Wasted Out
13. Fuzigish - Mocambique
14. Lacuna Coil - Our Truth
15. Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue
16. Fountains of Wayne - Mexican Wine
17. The Narrow - Shoot the DJ
18. Underoath - Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
19. We Are Scientists - Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt
20. Panic Channel - Why Cry
21. One Day Remains - Never Say Die

The Dalai Lama gets told to go eat a fat one

So I think by now we all know that the Dalai Lama was denied entry into SA for a peace conference or something like that and the officials that denied him a visa gave the weak excuse that at the time they didn’t want him taking attention away from the world cup (yeah right its next year)... Now the guy is actually a Nobel peace prize winner, which kind of puts him up there on the same level as Nelson Mandela. Apparently our “new” government has said that the Dalai Lama is welcome here anytime he’d like to come and visit SA. You see this is what I hate about politics, one minute they have such and such a goal and the next minute they have changed their tune completely. Stay tuned if you want to hear exactly what I think the motivation behind all this was. So basically my opinion on this whole thing is that the ANC didn’t want the Dalai Lama taking attention away from the election, or exposing any particular parties’ violations of human rights or certain parties’ support for China’s communist vibe. I mean if we are the country with the biggest appreciation for freedom then let the man have his say!

Far, so far sweet oslo

So guess what I found out today ?? Well not only do we have thousands upon thousands of fans here at home but stats show that we also have like 368 fans in Oslo Norway. Its so randomly cool that I think I need to go on holiday to that nordic heaven. I wonder where else we have fans ?? dont worry I'll keep you posted !

UPDATE: so I said I would keep you up to date .. looks like we have 109 fans from the UK aswel !! Tuks FM Total World Takeover

DJ Social

So uhm basicaly we went to dropzone (all us DJ's) and then we were given large amounts of shooters.. and beer... and brandy and then we played pool, well to be honest I only played one game (me and Stav vs Robbie and Ryan). I usually love pool and all those sort of bar games but fuck it the stakes were a bit high ! I wont say what but if you were in DZ on monday nyt you would know what I'm talking about. By the way your boi Samson Oduntan was there too (can you believe that shit ??) and he was wasted. It was an awesome social !!

JZ selected Mulder ???

So we've all heard by now that Dr. Pieter Mulder has been selected as the Deputy Minister of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries. I don’t know what to think about all this ? I mean he is the leader of the VF+ which is one of the biggest oppositions to the ANC's rule. But you know if I think back Zuma has always been a big supporter of the Afrikaners (I remember how much I laughed and thought that he was just trying to win votes) but maybe just maybe he really and truly is a legitimate good guy. what if we have all had the wrong impression of him from the beginning ? let’s think about that: It was found that the evidence against him was not gathered in a lawful manner, and that ex pres. Thabo Mbeki had a hand in all of it. So maybe Zuma was being conspired against. Who knows? and I’m not saying that appointing Mulder makes all the JZ controversy go away I’m just saying give the guy a chance.

Studio Controls Test

So check it, when you ask to become a DJ and they say yes, You then become an aspiring DJ until you pass your very complicated studio controls test, which I can tell you is probably the most difficult test in the world with the most nervousness involoved ever. But guess what I passed it. it was probably the best feeling in the world. enough said.

My First GIG

So the other day I played my first DJ gig ever. JDP and I went to Lilium girls res on Tuks Groenkloof campus to DJ a "cocktail party" but minus the huge amounts of alcohol usually found at things like that. It was all good at first... we set up and he DJ'd for like an hour or two and then he said "ok your turn, I’m leaving, phone me if there are any problems. And so there I was and it went pretty well aside from the skipping problem I had with the one channel. I swear though that I will never ask a DJ to play me a song ever again, at one point the world’s hottest chick kept coming to me and asking for poker face... Eventually I wanted to punch her in the face. I mean come on I'm mixing over here!!!

Swine Flu "Eppidemic" aka Media flu

So what I don’t get is why these days everyone has to completely freak out if like a person gets a potentially fatal disease. Lets be real how long have humans been eating pigs.. Thousands of years right? So if swine flu is such a hardcore and scary problem then why are we still around? And what’s more its treatable and preventable with this crazy thing us idealists call MODERN MEDACINE. I think the media just needs to stop over reacting all the time... first meningitis (and we know they got that wrong since stats show meningitis cases are down this year from last) and now swine flu. You people are causing panic for no reason... Not to be insensitive but weak people die from illnesses, that’s how it works so go on diet and start exercising and you won’t have to worry about all this kind of stuff.